Why Nerds Are Worth It
by Saucy-Duck
Summary: Another dating disaster forces Penny to compare the men she dates to her four nerds. When all the data has been collected will she determin that nerds really are worth it? Or is it that he's worth it?
1. Prologue

Why Nerds Are Worth It

She had done it again, gone and fallen for the flashy pretty boy that had offered her a smile. Why did she keep repeating the same disastrous behavior when she already knew the eventual outcome? They were liars, yet she fell for it hook, line, and sinker every time.

She was just getting into the customary conversation with a bottle of rum when she heard the laughter floating across the hallway and into her living room. Noting the day, she knew it was Thai night and she couldn't help but wish that she was over there with them, laughing at a joke she didn't quite get. She loved watching them laugh.

Switching on her T.V. she found one of her favorite movies "Revenge of the Nerds". She couldn't help but laugh at how right this silly movie had gotten things. She was a Pi who fell for the Alpha Beta's and didn't realize just how great those Tri Lam Nerds could be.

Engrossed in watching the Nerds pull of their spectacular panty raid, she only barely registered another wave of laughter coming from her own four nerds. God she wished she was over there. She wondered if they had ever seen this movie. 'Probably not, but maybe, there was a robot in it.' She thought.

The rum bottle, considerably lighter, fell just before she began dozing off to sleep. She heard their voices and more laughter, one voice standing out against the others. If Betty could realize that nerds were worth it, why couldn't she?

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AN: I would love some ideas as to where you, the readers, would like to see this story go. I have a general outline, but am always open to suggestions. So tell me what you think.

Oh and thank you to the wonderful mrsvc for the beta.


	2. They're Well Educated

Reason #1: They're well educated. You won't have to listen to him go on about his car. Ok, he doesn't own a car, but if he did you're positive he wouldn't go on talking about it.

She had learned long ago not to interrupt his knock sequence, but tonight she could care less.

"What Sheldon?" She asked, yanking the door open half way through the second Penny. If she had been in a better mood she would have found it funny or even cute how he faltered and seemed confused as to why she had opened the door.

Gathering himself, he stood to his full 6 foot whatever height and gave her what she knew passed as a smile for him.

"Good evening Penny. You're looking…Well you're looking as if it was not such a good evening." He said in a rare moment of normalcy.

"Sheldon you have to the count of three to tell me what you want before I go back to my rum and movie."

"Fine, I find myself in need of a ride." She tried to interrupt him here to tell him to ask Leonard, "I would have asked Leonard but he has managed to earn two strikes tonight, and he was unresponsive to my desires."

It may have been the dread that came from him looking as if he was about to go into detail about the circumstances which earned his roommate the two strikes, but she found herself in her car on the way to the grocery store.

If she had thought giving in and giving him a ride would spare her a mixed lecture of driving regulations and what went in to his decision to assign these two strikes she was shit out of luck.

"You see, since it was the second Thursday of the month it was clearly the day that they were assigned to change their food orders to ensure that we would not tire of the menu provided by our favored establishment.

She didn't care about the Thai night agreement that they had each signed and bore witness too, she didn't care that he had not asked why her face looked like a punching bag, and she certainly didn't care that she hadn't been invited to Thai night so that she could change her weekly order. All she cared about was shutting him up, and maybe finding an open liquor store.

"Sheldon, how hot is it in hell?" Where the hell had that come from? Oh it didn't matter where it came from if it stopped him talking about the difference between placing their order at 5:30 vs. 5:48.

She should have known that the blissful silence would only last so long. He was simply figuring out the best way to present his theory. When would she learn that you never silence a nerd with a science question let alone Sheldon?

From the corner of her eye she noticed him take a breath in preparation for what was sure to be a long, dull explanation.

"Well the first question that needs to be asked is if Hell is exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)." He said, taking the time to explain what each of those terms meant.

"It would be easy to apply Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) to your query, but in light of your present mood I will attempt to amuse you." All of this was said in such a scientific way that she almost missed his small attempt to make her feel better.

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today."

"Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially."

They had reached the store and were walking through the aisles grabbing various items, and she realized that she was actually following his explanation of rapt attention.

"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added." Every once and a while he glanced down at her to either make sure she was following or to make sure she was appreciating his attempt at being a good friend.

"This gives two possibilities." He stopped to pay the cashier. All thoughts of rum and what John or whatever his name was had done, were gone.

"1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over."

"So which is it?" Here he stopped his theory and looked at her as if he were waiting for an actual answer. She should have known that even this watered down version would be over her head. It just went to prove that she really wasn't good enough for him. 'Wait? Good enough for him?' She was almost so lost in her musings that she didn't hear him start up again.

"If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic." He ended with a small smile directed towards her.

When was she going to learn that he was more perceptive and witty than anyone gave him credit for? When would she learn that there hadn't been any strikes? That he had merely noticed the slamming of her front door well before the time a good date would have ended? When would she learn that maybe nerds, or just that he was worth it?

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AN: This hasn't been beta'd and I started it in Geology class and now it's 1am, so please excuse any spelling or grammar errors. You should thank my Geology professor for the lovely question of "How hot is it in hell", and you should thank the ever wonderful google for the sarcastic response that Sheldon gave. Yes instead of writing my paper I wrote this. Very productive if you ask me. I know it wasn't as long as some of you would have liked, but I still have to come up with my own answer of How Hot Hell Is.


	3. They're Sweet

An: This hasn't been beta'd, in fact this wasn't planned at all. It's Sunday night before dead week and my neighbors are throwing a huge, very loud party. Who does that? Please forgive any mistakes, but I need to get back to studying. This just had to be written first, and if I don't post it, I'll just keep coming back to it.

**Chapter 3: Psychology of Ice Cream**

**They're more romantic than you think-**

It had become somewhat of a routine for them. Wednesday night he would show up requesting her to drive him somewhere, usually the comic book store. In return she demanded he buy her an ice-cream.

**The First Trip**

The first time he seemed to think it over, was the prospect of spending time in an unapproved restaurant worth getting his new comic book? He concluded that if the comic book wasn't enough, the tiny triumphant smile that Penny directed at him was.

He begged off getting anything, objecting to the clearly unsanitary way that they prepared the ice-cream. She responded with a roll of the eyes and an exasperated, "Sheldon, it's Coldstone! They clean off the counter after each order."

"Them being a large chain does not mean anything Penny. I do not see any reason to chance in upsetting a peanut allergy, just because some adolescent did not read up on the proper food handling procedures." He said with finality.

Penny paused, "You don't even have a peanut allergy!" She said after a beat.

"That is beside the point."

"Fine, I'll just get something, Risk of stray peanuts and all."

She turned back to the counter where the gangly teenager took her order with a smile at her, and a glare at Sheldon.

On the trip home, Sheldon watched her from the corner of his eye. Despite the threat of cross contamination, he couldn't help but analyze Penny's choice in her choice. He would have assumed that she would choose a rich chocolate flavor and then add more chocolate to it. It certainly fit her, rich, sweet, sinful. Or she might have picked a classic like mint with brownies. Something that was strong, refreshing, and comforting just like her.

Instead she surprised him and ordered sweet cream and pineapple. The clerk had looked at her oddly, it was clear he didn't get many requests for pineapple and nothing else. It shouldn't have surprised him. She always went her own way. Just like his previous observations, this too fit her perfectly, simple, sweet, with a hint of exotic that left you wanting more.

Yes, it definitely fit the woman sitting next to him.

**The Second Trip**

The second outing progressed much as the first. Penny ran around looking at every possible topping and he looked on, observing and calculating her actions.

'What was so exciting about ice cream?' He wondered. He shouldn't have asked, but he did.

"What's so exciting about ice cream? What's NOT exciting about ice cream!" She laughed still looking at the possible combinations.

What he hadn't expected was for Penny to break into song.

"Where the bitter sweet taste of life is at your lips

Where isles and isles of toppings await you

The cool promises of ecstasy fills the air

At the end of each comic store trip it's waiting there

I'm in love with queen of the dairy products…" By this point she was practically twirling, before she came to an abrupt stop. Her mind suddenly made up.

"I would like a "love it" of…"

'In love with the queen of the dairy products? She better not ever say that in front of Leonard!'

**The Third Trip**

The third time was a milestone. He had spent the night researching the Coldstone's health inspection records and determined that it would be safe to try a sample.

He tried vanilla.

She just stared.

**The Fourth Trip**

She ordered a strawberry milkshake, explaining that milkshakes were best in the rain. He didn't really understand, but took her word for it.

He sampled the mint

"Wow painting the town red, are we?" Was all Penny said.

**The Fifth Trip **

He ordered. It came as a shock to both Penny and the young kid behind the counter.

"Now listen please. I would like a "like it" of the sweet cream, and for a toping I will have gummy bears. Only red ones please." He said in his usual Sheldon like manner.

"Why only the red ones?"

"They taste better." He simply stated. She just laughed at his unexpected answer.

"I don't know. I always liked the green ones." She said still smiling. "Can I have a taste?" She asked.

He looked up in horror.

**The Sixth Trip**

While Penny ordered a different thing each trip, Sheldon remained steadfast in his.

Always a "like it" of sweet cream and red gummy bears. He even went as far as to ask that the clerk make sure that there was an even number of bears.

**The Seventh Trip**

Was canceled when Penny learned that her mother was ill, and had to make a quick trip back to Nebraska.

He forced Leonard to take him.

Leonard was ecstatic when he discovered that there was a non-dairy option.

Sheldon found that the ice cream didn't taste as good without her.

**The Eighth Trip**

Was canceled because he refused to do it without Penny. He would wait for this issue until she was back.

**The Ninth Trip **(penny's pov)

Was full of tense silences.

It was her second day back home and while she had come to enjoy these trips with Sheldon, it was not where she wanted to be.

Her thoughts were still back in Nebraska. The only thing keeping her from going back was the lack of sick days, and she could not lose her job.

"Penny it's good to see you back. What can I get for you?" Sam asked from behind the counter. It was oddly touching that they had become regulars.

"I'm not getting anything today. Sheldon?"

The man next to her tensed up. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be back and be happy.

Sheldon too decided against ice cream today. She couldn't help but notice that the entire ride home, he had a pensive look on his face, one that would intensify every time he glanced over at her.

She knew that she should say something to put him at peace, but she couldn't.

**The Tenth Trip **(back to Sheldon pov)

Was made without Penny knowing.

Sheldon did the unthinkable and called a cab. The entire ride to the Coldstone was spent with him squatting above the seat, not wanting to touch anything. But some things were worth it.

"Hello, Sam. I need two "love it's" of my usual."

**The House Call **(Penny)

Sitting in the dark she was engrossed in watching Legends of the Falls.

'What is it about women being depressed so they in turn watch an even more depressing movie? One of life's many mysteries' She thought as she turned channels settling on reruns of FRIENDS.

Her deep meditation on why Ross and Rachel couldn't just work it out, was interrupted by a familiar sound.

Knock, knock, knock,

Penny

Knock, knock, knock

Penny

Knock, knock, knock

Penny

She opened up the door to find Sheldon standing there holding two large cups of ice cream.

Opening the door further and moving back towards the couch, she flipped on lights as she went.

When she turned back, preparing herself to be on the receiving end of a Sheldon lecture on the importance of a clean living environment. She was met with one of the sweetest sights.

Sheldon, Mr. Spock himself, was standing there holding the ice cream somewhat awkwardly. He silently handed her one.

She looked down and saw 10 gummy bears, and one red one.

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So that's chapter three. Please tell me what you think. Again sorry for any mistakes. Now I need to get back to studying for Chem. :(

Oh, and the "song" Penny Sings is a take off of Bruce Springsteen's Queen of the Supermarket.


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